Sometimes I look at my husband and I wonder how much life would be different if he was not who he is and I am not who I am.
It often amazes me that we actually ever met at all - and all of the things that had to happen before we met in order for us to come together in the correct moment. I guess it's all Fate. Now, if you know me at all, you know that I believe in soul mates. I often look at my husband and I can see that he is exactly me, mirrored in a male, Latino body and mind. Before our wedding ceremony, we met with the officiant and he asked us one simple question: "Why him? Why her?" At first, I joked with a silly answer but then I told him how I really felt - that my husband and I are the same, exact person. Sometimes it is scary how similar we are, and how I can know exactly what he is thinking or feeling without even saying words.
Now, my husband might deny this next fact, but I will tell you that it is 100% truth. We are both extremely, maybe overly, emotional people. I'd say that my husband tries to hide his emotions or pretend that he doesn't care about something, but I know deep down he is excited, or sad, or angry, or whatever feeling that comes with the situation.
Every single day I feel extremely lucky that I have my husband. If anything, he complements and completes me. He's supportive and helpful, encouraging and loving, wonderfully committed and equally as impatient as me. We spend countless hours playing games, laughing, competing against each other while watching Jeopardy, just being together in each others presence - all of which has solidified and cemented our already tight relationship.
Three years ago, I couldn't have imagined that my life would end up like it is now. Life seemed to have panned out exactly how it was supposed to - and after spending almost two years in a country that equally lovely and violent - my husband became my true love and my protector. To this day, he still says that he will protect me - even when we walk the safe streets of our apartment complex. There is nothing dangerous about it, but he falls easily into that role. It is traits like that which I know will make him a great father.
Last night, I had a moment where I shot up from my sleep not being able to breathe - I was gasping for breath, very scared and confused on what was happening. Now that I think about it, I think it was some kind of reflux from stupidly drinking water while laying down that settled in my esophagus rather than my stomach, but in that moment it was truly terrifying. It probably only lasted less than five seconds, but I've never seen my husband move so fast - he was literally out of the bed, running to the closet and grabbing the bucket in case I threw up in that short time. It was scary, but also equally endearing that my husband's first reaction was one to grab a bucket so we didn't ruin our carpet in case I vomited everywhere.
Sometimes I wish that words were enough to tell my husband how much I appreciate, care about, and love him. He is truly my knight in shining armor, my one true love, the man that I will have babies with, and grow old with together. I'm proud of him for doing all of the things he has accomplished in the past few years, especially being willing to move with me to a new, different country where things haven't always been the easiest. And when we argue, as all married couples do, we can only stay mad at each other for 10 - 20 minutes, tops. But it's always funny to me when he swears to "really get mad at me," when I know that it's literally impossible.
Because all I have to do is give him a hug and all is right with the world.
Love you, Javito.
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Forgetfulness...
You know, life seems to move way too fast sometimes.
In the past 5 months, I've moved to a different city, started a new job, gotten married, thought about going back to school, applied for my teaching license, watched my husband get his first job in the USA, and a thousand of other little things that just seem like a blur as time as passed by so incredibly quick - quicker than I thought possible.
Every single year, I tell myself to blog, to write, to take the time to measure the moments more heavily by reflecting upon them more deeply. But, as you know, life moves at a quick pace and sunsets turn into sunrises so fast that Monday is suddenly Friday and January is suddenly May.
But this weekend, as I was taking the time to soak in the weather and the sights and quality time with my family at an art fair, we walked past a booth for a Writer's Guild and my mom point-blankly told me that I'm a good writer, and did I still write? When my answer - because you already know my excuse, "life is too fast," - was a negative one, she told me that I should continue to write because I'm a good writer. It made me really think, and all of the memories came flooding back - the ones of me sitting in the dark in front of a computer screen during my angst-y teenager years as well as all of the times I spent in college classes doodling down verses to poetry that I would never look at again. I have piles of "journals" where I wrote stories - so many stories - that never went anywhere except the lines of those pages. I have stacks of poems written for people, about people, about situations and feelings and so many things that I cannot even remember who or when or how those poems came to being.
A lot of times I tell myself that my life is particularly boring or mundane or normal, and no one - I mean, no one, will want to read about my day-to-day stories about work or students or my personal life. And I find that I'm often very long-winded when I write, which I guess is not something that attracts readers, in general. It's like I have so much bottled up inside that after months of not writing, all of it comes spilling out in a regurgitation-type style of writing.
My point of all of this is that I want to promise that I will continue to blog, but it has to be an ever-present thing on my "to-do" list - because, let's be honest, I might forget tomorrow or next week that this blog exists - and I desperately want to remember because years from now, I want to look back and reminisce about those moments that I took the time to really reflect upon. Because those will be the memories that will mean the most - when memories fade, words stay. And I can always look back at words, when my memory doesn't suffice anymore.
Kate
In the past 5 months, I've moved to a different city, started a new job, gotten married, thought about going back to school, applied for my teaching license, watched my husband get his first job in the USA, and a thousand of other little things that just seem like a blur as time as passed by so incredibly quick - quicker than I thought possible.
Every single year, I tell myself to blog, to write, to take the time to measure the moments more heavily by reflecting upon them more deeply. But, as you know, life moves at a quick pace and sunsets turn into sunrises so fast that Monday is suddenly Friday and January is suddenly May.
But this weekend, as I was taking the time to soak in the weather and the sights and quality time with my family at an art fair, we walked past a booth for a Writer's Guild and my mom point-blankly told me that I'm a good writer, and did I still write? When my answer - because you already know my excuse, "life is too fast," - was a negative one, she told me that I should continue to write because I'm a good writer. It made me really think, and all of the memories came flooding back - the ones of me sitting in the dark in front of a computer screen during my angst-y teenager years as well as all of the times I spent in college classes doodling down verses to poetry that I would never look at again. I have piles of "journals" where I wrote stories - so many stories - that never went anywhere except the lines of those pages. I have stacks of poems written for people, about people, about situations and feelings and so many things that I cannot even remember who or when or how those poems came to being.
A lot of times I tell myself that my life is particularly boring or mundane or normal, and no one - I mean, no one, will want to read about my day-to-day stories about work or students or my personal life. And I find that I'm often very long-winded when I write, which I guess is not something that attracts readers, in general. It's like I have so much bottled up inside that after months of not writing, all of it comes spilling out in a regurgitation-type style of writing.
My point of all of this is that I want to promise that I will continue to blog, but it has to be an ever-present thing on my "to-do" list - because, let's be honest, I might forget tomorrow or next week that this blog exists - and I desperately want to remember because years from now, I want to look back and reminisce about those moments that I took the time to really reflect upon. Because those will be the memories that will mean the most - when memories fade, words stay. And I can always look back at words, when my memory doesn't suffice anymore.
Kate
Saturday, December 29, 2012
New Year!
Christmas has come and go.
New Year's is just upon us - like, 2 days away.
It seems that time passes really quickly and with one blink of my eye, I'm thrown a few weeks ahead in time with nothing but a small kick of dust behind me to remind me that yesterday, I was there.
It seems almost unreal to me that 2013 is days away. 2013 is the year that I get to have a wedding with my family and friends. 2013 is the year that I, crossing my fingers, get a job that helps me shape my career into one that I really love. 2013 is the year that a lot of things start, a lot of things end, and a lot of surprise things will more than likely crop up out of nowhere. I know that many people see New Year's as that day that everything becomes 'new.' They make resolutions and promise to be better people, in some sort of way.
I think it's important to really reflect on all of the goals that I've accomplished this year, but remember that there are definitely some shortcomings that I need to make up for in this upcoming year. I think my most important realization in life, up to this point, is that my happiness sincerely comes from within. Do I really like what I'm doing? If I do, then it is great. Do I really enjoy my life as it is? Is there something that I think I should change (not what others may view as weird or wrong or bad)? If I think I should change something, what should I do to fix it? (Not relying on others to change things in my life for me.)
As people, we grow as the years pass by and every day shapes us into the person that we are continually becoming. Maybe I physically stopped growing when I was 16 but that doesn't mean that I have mentally, emotionally and spiritually stopped growing. I think I've grown more in leaps and bounds since I stopped at 5 ft, 6 inches.
I really want to make my resolutions this year something that creates something inside of me that I haven't been able to touch yet. What can I do to make myself a better person, for myself and for everyone else? What steps can I make that will help me grow? Help me change? Maybe I won't accomplish the things in a year, or even two years. But what can I do right now, today, in this exact moment, that will help me to accomplish small goals that lead to bigger goals?
That's what I'm thinking about when I sit down to write my resolutions.
New Year's is just upon us - like, 2 days away.
It seems that time passes really quickly and with one blink of my eye, I'm thrown a few weeks ahead in time with nothing but a small kick of dust behind me to remind me that yesterday, I was there.
It seems almost unreal to me that 2013 is days away. 2013 is the year that I get to have a wedding with my family and friends. 2013 is the year that I, crossing my fingers, get a job that helps me shape my career into one that I really love. 2013 is the year that a lot of things start, a lot of things end, and a lot of surprise things will more than likely crop up out of nowhere. I know that many people see New Year's as that day that everything becomes 'new.' They make resolutions and promise to be better people, in some sort of way.
I think it's important to really reflect on all of the goals that I've accomplished this year, but remember that there are definitely some shortcomings that I need to make up for in this upcoming year. I think my most important realization in life, up to this point, is that my happiness sincerely comes from within. Do I really like what I'm doing? If I do, then it is great. Do I really enjoy my life as it is? Is there something that I think I should change (not what others may view as weird or wrong or bad)? If I think I should change something, what should I do to fix it? (Not relying on others to change things in my life for me.)
As people, we grow as the years pass by and every day shapes us into the person that we are continually becoming. Maybe I physically stopped growing when I was 16 but that doesn't mean that I have mentally, emotionally and spiritually stopped growing. I think I've grown more in leaps and bounds since I stopped at 5 ft, 6 inches.
I really want to make my resolutions this year something that creates something inside of me that I haven't been able to touch yet. What can I do to make myself a better person, for myself and for everyone else? What steps can I make that will help me grow? Help me change? Maybe I won't accomplish the things in a year, or even two years. But what can I do right now, today, in this exact moment, that will help me to accomplish small goals that lead to bigger goals?
That's what I'm thinking about when I sit down to write my resolutions.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Quitting - For the Second Time
A few years ago, I decided that I would quit drinking sodas just
because I wanted to see if I was able to do it. At the time, I was an
avid soda drinker - meaning I would drink at least 3 cans a day. I
decided that I would quit cold turkey and see if I had enough willpower
to get over my soda addiction. I was successful in my endeavor with no
slip ups at all. It helped me lose some weight, too.
Fast forward about one year and I was in Honduras,with some sort of weird sickness that seemed to literally tearing the insides of my stomach into a thousand pieces. I was heavily nauseous and could barely sustain sitting up in bed, and I didn't even want to think about walking. I chalked this up to my body getting used to totally different types of bacteria, eating types of foods, and just a new environment in a different country. Javier persuaded me to take some alka-seltzer, which is, by far, the worst tasting medication in this entire world, hands down. After taking some, I was feeling a little bit better but I still wasn't completely healed, so he attempted to persuade me to take some more. I absolutely 100% refused, deciding that it was better to writhe in pain than take that horrid salty-water medication that made me want to gag.
But then he told me that if I took the alka-seltzer with some Coke, I wouldn't be able to even taste the medicine. After over one entire year of not touching any soda, I drank one glass with alka-seltzer and I got hooked again. Down in Honduras, the Coke is so much sweeter than the Coke we have in the USA. It is probably because they use pure sugar cane, but it's really, really sweet and delicious. I started drinking Coke on a regular basis and it again become part of my lifestyle. Everyone in Honduras drinks Coke. Everyone. Seriously, everyone. I think it's the country's national beverage.
After coming back to the USA, I decided that I was going to stop drinking soda because I wanted to lose weight and I knew that drinking less or no soda would help me in that goal. So on October 29, 2012, I stopped drinking soda again - cold turkey. There were times when I really craved it, but I did not give in. Only once Javier was drinking some Coke for dinner and took a tiny sip - but told him that it was just too sweet for me.
It has been helpful to quit drinking soda. There are times when I really want to drink some, but I tell myself no, that I've gone this long without it and instead I drink a Vitamin Water (0 calorie ones), water, or natural juices. It's also nice that it has helped me lose some weight. I'm down 25 pounds (going to the gym regularly as well), and although I have to lose a lot more, I know that by changing some of my dietary habits, it will be easier.
Fast forward about one year and I was in Honduras,with some sort of weird sickness that seemed to literally tearing the insides of my stomach into a thousand pieces. I was heavily nauseous and could barely sustain sitting up in bed, and I didn't even want to think about walking. I chalked this up to my body getting used to totally different types of bacteria, eating types of foods, and just a new environment in a different country. Javier persuaded me to take some alka-seltzer, which is, by far, the worst tasting medication in this entire world, hands down. After taking some, I was feeling a little bit better but I still wasn't completely healed, so he attempted to persuade me to take some more. I absolutely 100% refused, deciding that it was better to writhe in pain than take that horrid salty-water medication that made me want to gag.
But then he told me that if I took the alka-seltzer with some Coke, I wouldn't be able to even taste the medicine. After over one entire year of not touching any soda, I drank one glass with alka-seltzer and I got hooked again. Down in Honduras, the Coke is so much sweeter than the Coke we have in the USA. It is probably because they use pure sugar cane, but it's really, really sweet and delicious. I started drinking Coke on a regular basis and it again become part of my lifestyle. Everyone in Honduras drinks Coke. Everyone. Seriously, everyone. I think it's the country's national beverage.
After coming back to the USA, I decided that I was going to stop drinking soda because I wanted to lose weight and I knew that drinking less or no soda would help me in that goal. So on October 29, 2012, I stopped drinking soda again - cold turkey. There were times when I really craved it, but I did not give in. Only once Javier was drinking some Coke for dinner and took a tiny sip - but told him that it was just too sweet for me.
It has been helpful to quit drinking soda. There are times when I really want to drink some, but I tell myself no, that I've gone this long without it and instead I drink a Vitamin Water (0 calorie ones), water, or natural juices. It's also nice that it has helped me lose some weight. I'm down 25 pounds (going to the gym regularly as well), and although I have to lose a lot more, I know that by changing some of my dietary habits, it will be easier.
Monday, November 5, 2012
Wine & Laughing
I am slowly, but surely, completing some items on my 1001 list.
This past weekend was my sister's bachelorette party. My youngest sister and I had planned it via Skype because I was overseas at the time, and I was glad to see it all come to fruition. We planned a party that we thought my sister would enjoy with things that she was interested in. It just so happened that some of the things we planned were also on my 1001 list.
Wine Tasting
The first thing we did was go wine tasting at a winery in Indianapolis. It was really cool, only $5 for 7 different wines and a short tour. Let's be honest, we only really cared about the wine tasting. At the beginning, the guy gave us this sheet of paper with seven different "barrels" listed with two options for each barrel. He asked us to circle one for each barrel, indicating which of the two we wanted to try. Some of the wines were really good, and I even bought a bottle there. I reaffirmed that I like sweet wines and not dry ones, preferring white or blush wines over red wines. We also tried warm mulled wine which was... different. One of my sister's friends liked it so much that I just gave her the rest of mine. Thanks, but no thanks. The only thing that I wished was that the guy would have slowed down in explaining the things about the wine and giving us more time to taste each one before moving to the next. He went REALLY fast and we were practically drinking the wine like shots.... but it was only $5 so I guess I can't complain that much.
Live Comedy Club
This is the second thing on my 1001 that I accomplished this night. It was also something that we planned for the party, so after we all ate dinner at one of my sister's favorite restaurants, a limo picked us up and took us to the comedy club. We got seated at the front of the room (really cool, considering the room was really packed and we got there about 15 minutes before it started). There were three comedians - the host, a guest, and then the headliner. The guest comedian was really funny, I think her name was Amber Preston. I was dying laughing at all of her jokes. The headliner was Gary Gulman. He was also super funny, at one point tears were rolling down my cheeks from laughing so hard. I really enjoyed the experience there and I would go back to a comedy club another time, for sure.
------------------------
Javier and I are still adjusting to life here in the USA. We went today to get his Social Security card but he wasn't in the system yet so now it can take up to thirty days for immigration to verify his legal status here. I really hate how circular government systems are here. I tried to change my address at the bank today but they would not let me change it without a current ID, but then the BMV requires an updated address from the bank... uhhh? Luckily I read that they will allow someone that I'm living with to sign for me at the BMV, so on Wednesday my father will take me. Such a pain in my butt, honestly. Really frustrating.
------
Planning the wedding is still going, too. Waiting on our save the dates to come in the mail and waiting for the lady to call us back about our ceremony site. I really hate that people take forever on things. Ugh!
This past weekend was my sister's bachelorette party. My youngest sister and I had planned it via Skype because I was overseas at the time, and I was glad to see it all come to fruition. We planned a party that we thought my sister would enjoy with things that she was interested in. It just so happened that some of the things we planned were also on my 1001 list.
Wine Tasting
The first thing we did was go wine tasting at a winery in Indianapolis. It was really cool, only $5 for 7 different wines and a short tour. Let's be honest, we only really cared about the wine tasting. At the beginning, the guy gave us this sheet of paper with seven different "barrels" listed with two options for each barrel. He asked us to circle one for each barrel, indicating which of the two we wanted to try. Some of the wines were really good, and I even bought a bottle there. I reaffirmed that I like sweet wines and not dry ones, preferring white or blush wines over red wines. We also tried warm mulled wine which was... different. One of my sister's friends liked it so much that I just gave her the rest of mine. Thanks, but no thanks. The only thing that I wished was that the guy would have slowed down in explaining the things about the wine and giving us more time to taste each one before moving to the next. He went REALLY fast and we were practically drinking the wine like shots.... but it was only $5 so I guess I can't complain that much.
Live Comedy Club
This is the second thing on my 1001 that I accomplished this night. It was also something that we planned for the party, so after we all ate dinner at one of my sister's favorite restaurants, a limo picked us up and took us to the comedy club. We got seated at the front of the room (really cool, considering the room was really packed and we got there about 15 minutes before it started). There were three comedians - the host, a guest, and then the headliner. The guest comedian was really funny, I think her name was Amber Preston. I was dying laughing at all of her jokes. The headliner was Gary Gulman. He was also super funny, at one point tears were rolling down my cheeks from laughing so hard. I really enjoyed the experience there and I would go back to a comedy club another time, for sure.
------------------------
Javier and I are still adjusting to life here in the USA. We went today to get his Social Security card but he wasn't in the system yet so now it can take up to thirty days for immigration to verify his legal status here. I really hate how circular government systems are here. I tried to change my address at the bank today but they would not let me change it without a current ID, but then the BMV requires an updated address from the bank... uhhh? Luckily I read that they will allow someone that I'm living with to sign for me at the BMV, so on Wednesday my father will take me. Such a pain in my butt, honestly. Really frustrating.
------
Planning the wedding is still going, too. Waiting on our save the dates to come in the mail and waiting for the lady to call us back about our ceremony site. I really hate that people take forever on things. Ugh!
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Swimming the Caribbean Sea with Your Life in Suitcases
It's not very often that someone moves their entire life from one country to another and back again, all under two years. After meeting Javier and knowing that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together, I undertook a rather risky feat of moving my life to Honduras by finding a job there, getting an apartment, and basically moving things from the US in two flights.
After we decided that we wanted to live our future married life in the USA, we started to research how to go about achieving that goal. I knew that any visa that he applied for would take a long time, so we decided that we were going to file for a visa when I went home in Christmas. I spent numerous hours pouring over information on the internet concerning the logistics of US visas, and we decided that our best move was to file for a fiance visa. It was a long and arduous process, one that I sincerely thought would never come to an end (in actuality, the visa is just the beginning - trust me, we have a ton of more paperwork to do).
I had made my life with Javier in Honduras. We had our apartment, our routines, our jobs. The problem was that my family was super far away and I missed them terribly. We had many discussions about sacrifices and hoping that our families would understand. We talked many nights about the realities of our future life - that one of us would have to sacrifice the time with one of our families in order to gain the time with the other person's. Before we even filed for the visa, we had long and lengthy discussions about what this move would mean for both of us - what it would mean for our families - and where we wanted our future kids to grow up.
It's hard, you know, to take in account that half of your family won't be around for important life events - simply because they live in another country. I made an inner promise that we would always stay in contact with Javier's family, and hopefully we could bring his mother over to the US from time to time to visit (or in the future, help us when the kids are born). I also made a promise that we would go visit them in Honduras.
I know that deep down it was hard for Javier to leave his country - the only place that he has ever known. It was deeply hard for me as well - I had made friends, I had many lovely students, I was used to the life there and how things ran, I was used to being around Javier's family. But receiving that visa was so worth all of the pain, stress, and worries. I knew that the visa would help us live the life that we had dreamed of in a place where we were both a little safer.
It has been a few weeks since we landed in the US, and so far things have been great. We have been planning our wedding, looking for jobs, spending a lot of time together, going to different events and out to eat. Javier has met all of my family, my grandparents, and has had the opportunity to do many things that we couldn't have done in Honduras. The weather is cold, but that will pass.
I think, overall, moving is hard. But I think it is harder when you move your entire life (the second move was two people's things - imagine all of the shit that I left behind!) overseas in suitcases, and the airline breaks two of your suitcases (true story). We have many plans for the future, so we will see what life brings us.
[Moving to the USA was one of my goals of my 1001 list, which you can view here.]
After we decided that we wanted to live our future married life in the USA, we started to research how to go about achieving that goal. I knew that any visa that he applied for would take a long time, so we decided that we were going to file for a visa when I went home in Christmas. I spent numerous hours pouring over information on the internet concerning the logistics of US visas, and we decided that our best move was to file for a fiance visa. It was a long and arduous process, one that I sincerely thought would never come to an end (in actuality, the visa is just the beginning - trust me, we have a ton of more paperwork to do).
I had made my life with Javier in Honduras. We had our apartment, our routines, our jobs. The problem was that my family was super far away and I missed them terribly. We had many discussions about sacrifices and hoping that our families would understand. We talked many nights about the realities of our future life - that one of us would have to sacrifice the time with one of our families in order to gain the time with the other person's. Before we even filed for the visa, we had long and lengthy discussions about what this move would mean for both of us - what it would mean for our families - and where we wanted our future kids to grow up.
It's hard, you know, to take in account that half of your family won't be around for important life events - simply because they live in another country. I made an inner promise that we would always stay in contact with Javier's family, and hopefully we could bring his mother over to the US from time to time to visit (or in the future, help us when the kids are born). I also made a promise that we would go visit them in Honduras.
I know that deep down it was hard for Javier to leave his country - the only place that he has ever known. It was deeply hard for me as well - I had made friends, I had many lovely students, I was used to the life there and how things ran, I was used to being around Javier's family. But receiving that visa was so worth all of the pain, stress, and worries. I knew that the visa would help us live the life that we had dreamed of in a place where we were both a little safer.
It has been a few weeks since we landed in the US, and so far things have been great. We have been planning our wedding, looking for jobs, spending a lot of time together, going to different events and out to eat. Javier has met all of my family, my grandparents, and has had the opportunity to do many things that we couldn't have done in Honduras. The weather is cold, but that will pass.
I think, overall, moving is hard. But I think it is harder when you move your entire life (the second move was two people's things - imagine all of the shit that I left behind!) overseas in suitcases, and the airline breaks two of your suitcases (true story). We have many plans for the future, so we will see what life brings us.
[Moving to the USA was one of my goals of my 1001 list, which you can view here.]
Friday, August 17, 2012
New Year, New Students
It's the end of week one!
The week one of school, that is. Classes began on Tuesday and it was probably one of the best weeks of my teacher life. I have an excellent homeroom, we started new wonderful routines that everyone seems to understand and follow, my new 5th graders are lovely and sweet, and I am just absolutely in love with how things have been going.
I have some work this weekend, but I don't feel overwhelmed by it. Sometimes it makes me feel like if I'm making some sort of small difference in at least one of my students' lives, I'm doing my job.
I remember when I was younger, maybe around 8 or 9, possibly 10, and my parents had gotten us some old desks from my elementary school when the school had bought new ones. They put them in our basement, hung up two chalkboards, and complete with old textbooks (I guess the school got new ones of those, as well), I would play School. I would write with different colored chalk on the boards, "call" on my "students," answer problems, read out loud, and do all of those teacher-y type things that I thought were awesome. I remember many days thinking that I wanted to be a teacher, but as I grew older, those thoughts flew out of window and got replaced with "horse trainer," "veterinarian," and "journalist." Some time during my studies for my master's degree, I realized that my initial thoughts of what my career was going to be was coming back into my brain.
After taking a class for teaching ESL, I fell in love with the idea that I could teach people English - something that I am really good at - and help them with something that they wanted to do - and maybe, in the grand scheme of things, affect and/or change some lives. My original idea was to head off to the Peace Corps to teach English in some country that no one had ever heard of, but after a turn of events (meeting my fiance), Honduras seemed to be my calling. First, I thought that my expertise would be with adult learners (which I thoroughly enjoyed working with in the USA) but after switching jobs and signing a contract with an elementary school, I knew RIGHT THEN that my true career was teaching English in the primary grades. It sometimes saddens me that in order to teach primary in the US, I would have to go back to school (again!) to get my teaching license, and thinking that it won't be a viable option for over one year, I will have to learn that I can make the same sort of waves with older students that I can with my sweet 5th and 6th graders.
Teaching overseas has taught me many lessons, mostly about myself. When I was younger, I was really shy and not even close to self-confident. But when you teach, and especially when you teach kids, you MUST be confident and project self-worth. Many of my students look to me for personal advice, many of them come to me crying about a problem or a situation, and many times I am the only one who can give them that one hug that will make the pain disappear for a moment. I never have felt nervous teaching, I have never felt unsure about myself. I have always felt that I CAN and WILL be the teacher that they learn valuable and useful lessons from - inside and outside of the classroom - and that for years from now, when they are much older and I'm already back in the US with kids hanging off my hips, some of my students will still remember me as their sixth grade homeroom teacher or their 5th/6th grade English teacher or the teacher who helped them solve a problem/issue or cheered them on during a sports game.
And years from now, when I'm back in the US with kids hanging off my hips, I'll look back at this almost 2 years in Honduras, and remember all of the good times I spent with my fiance, but also all of the times that I spent at school fielding questions, comments, concerns, and laughing my butt off at something hilarious that my student came up with on the spot.
The week one of school, that is. Classes began on Tuesday and it was probably one of the best weeks of my teacher life. I have an excellent homeroom, we started new wonderful routines that everyone seems to understand and follow, my new 5th graders are lovely and sweet, and I am just absolutely in love with how things have been going.
I have some work this weekend, but I don't feel overwhelmed by it. Sometimes it makes me feel like if I'm making some sort of small difference in at least one of my students' lives, I'm doing my job.
I remember when I was younger, maybe around 8 or 9, possibly 10, and my parents had gotten us some old desks from my elementary school when the school had bought new ones. They put them in our basement, hung up two chalkboards, and complete with old textbooks (I guess the school got new ones of those, as well), I would play School. I would write with different colored chalk on the boards, "call" on my "students," answer problems, read out loud, and do all of those teacher-y type things that I thought were awesome. I remember many days thinking that I wanted to be a teacher, but as I grew older, those thoughts flew out of window and got replaced with "horse trainer," "veterinarian," and "journalist." Some time during my studies for my master's degree, I realized that my initial thoughts of what my career was going to be was coming back into my brain.
After taking a class for teaching ESL, I fell in love with the idea that I could teach people English - something that I am really good at - and help them with something that they wanted to do - and maybe, in the grand scheme of things, affect and/or change some lives. My original idea was to head off to the Peace Corps to teach English in some country that no one had ever heard of, but after a turn of events (meeting my fiance), Honduras seemed to be my calling. First, I thought that my expertise would be with adult learners (which I thoroughly enjoyed working with in the USA) but after switching jobs and signing a contract with an elementary school, I knew RIGHT THEN that my true career was teaching English in the primary grades. It sometimes saddens me that in order to teach primary in the US, I would have to go back to school (again!) to get my teaching license, and thinking that it won't be a viable option for over one year, I will have to learn that I can make the same sort of waves with older students that I can with my sweet 5th and 6th graders.
Teaching overseas has taught me many lessons, mostly about myself. When I was younger, I was really shy and not even close to self-confident. But when you teach, and especially when you teach kids, you MUST be confident and project self-worth. Many of my students look to me for personal advice, many of them come to me crying about a problem or a situation, and many times I am the only one who can give them that one hug that will make the pain disappear for a moment. I never have felt nervous teaching, I have never felt unsure about myself. I have always felt that I CAN and WILL be the teacher that they learn valuable and useful lessons from - inside and outside of the classroom - and that for years from now, when they are much older and I'm already back in the US with kids hanging off my hips, some of my students will still remember me as their sixth grade homeroom teacher or their 5th/6th grade English teacher or the teacher who helped them solve a problem/issue or cheered them on during a sports game.
And years from now, when I'm back in the US with kids hanging off my hips, I'll look back at this almost 2 years in Honduras, and remember all of the good times I spent with my fiance, but also all of the times that I spent at school fielding questions, comments, concerns, and laughing my butt off at something hilarious that my student came up with on the spot.
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